• 27th May
    2012
  • 27
  • 22nd May
    2012
  • 22
  • 21st May
    2012
  • 21
  • 20th May
    2012
  • 20
Post

“WHY YOU GOTTA LIE CRAIG?”

        

People lie all the time.  We just do.  We lie about the smallest things.  We exaggerate the truth.  Everyone lies.  However, for this particular blog, I would like to focus on the lies  men tell.  These unnecessary lies that usually get them “caught up”.  

This guy walks up to me today and starts a conversation. He begins by telling me that he had met me along time ago at a party.  Considering I just moved to Houston 5 months ago, I knew that this was impossible.  I said “maybe you have me confused with someone else” but he stuck to his story. *insert blank stare here*  He even tried to convince me that I should remember him.

Lies, Lies, Lies.

Why do men lie?  Especially considering that they will almost always get caught.  Women don’t even need to put on their detective hats to figure out when a man is lying.  Most times we can tell when a man is lying by his need to OVER explain the situation or better yet, the avoidance of a question.

HER: Did you pick up the dry cleaning today?

HIM:  I got some popcorn at the store today…your favorite kind too.

HER: But did you pick up the dry cleaning?

HIM:  I think it was closed.

(please don’t act like this has never happened to you!)

You have immediately just told her that you didn’t get the dry cleaning that you swore you weren’t going to forget to pick up.  ”Damn, I forgot.  I’m Sorry. I will get it tomorrow.” would still be a much better “out” than trying to avoid the question or lying about it.  Trust me…she already knew you didn’t get the dry cleaning when she asked the question. 

Why is it so hard to get the truth?  I have been interested in dating a few guys but when they respond “NO” to the question “Are you dating someone?”, I later find out that this was false.  I have even seen these so called single men out with their girlfriends and looking quite paranoid. There is no doubt in my mind that a woman would rather you tell her the truth and hurt her feelings than to tell a lie and destroy her trust for you.

I respect a man who can tell it all.  Put all of your cards on the table so that we can make the choice on whether to deal with it or not.  I know…I know…”WE CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH” is what you are thinking.  I’m not saying that the truth won’t get you cussed out but I will say this…

The moment that you tell a woman a lie…you have caused doubt in her mind that will stick with her for a very long time.  She will immediately flashback to other times when she thought you could be lying about something but believed you.  She will also think you are lying about things in the future. A woman wants to trust you. Don’t give her a reason not to.

After being in a relationship with a sociopath, I tend to recognize a liar very quickly now.  Not too much can get passed me. I have heard it all. I may let you slide with one or two white lies but most likely you will get the boot.  Especially, if you had the opportunity to come clean.

Karma is a bitch.  One day your lies will come back to haunt you. 

And that’s no lie.

  • 7th May
    2012
  • 07
Post
Listening to the silence. (Taken with instagram)

Listening to the silence. (Taken with instagram)

  • 2nd May
    2012
  • 02
Post

JJ’S BLOG: In the Mourning…

 

I have been struggling these past two weeks since my father’s death.  Just trying to find the best way to “be”.  I am obviously not doing too well with this and I’m not sure exactly what it is that I need. Most of the time I don’t want to be around anyone.  I assume that the people close to me think I am at home crawled up in a corner crying my eyes out. I have assured them that I’m not. I have been in that place before, however, I won’t be revisiting that place again no matter how much pain I have inside. But I’m just not sure how to feel.  I know that one minute I want to talk to someone and then the next minute I’m completely irritated by anyone who tries to talk to me.  What hurts even more is when I have felt similar to this in the past I would call my father for advice on how to deal with it.  I found myself yelling on the way to work this morning…”Why aren’t you here for me to help deal with you not being here!!”.  Crazy, huh?

I totally get when people say “Your father is still with you and he can hear you”.  But the fact that I can’t hear his voice is killing me.  My heart feels empty.  

Every morning I cook breakfast and glance at the picture of my father and my sister that sits next to the stove.  It has been sitting there since I moved to Houston in November.  I think now I just recognize it even more. Somedays I smile and other days I wonder if I should remove the picture so that I don’t feel so sad.  But I know removing the picture won’t change anything.  If not a picture, it’s a memory that pops in my head. Hell, every time I look in the mirror I have a constant reminder of father.

I’m not sure what stage of grieving I am in right now because anger, sadness, and denial all seem to be present.  I am just taking it one day at a time.  I thank God for His strength.  It’s kinda like He is my generator.  When I feel like I am completely drained, He kicks in and takes over for me.  

I appreciate the love and the prayers from everyone.  I appreciate even more the “realness” from people who have shared their personal experiences and have admitted that it is not going to be easy.  

It’s not.

But giving up is not an option.  I imagine that my father would tell me to keep it movin’.  He would say if I need to take a break, do it but not for too long.  

So today I am taking a break.  Praying for a brighter day in the morning.

  • 30th April
    2012
  • 30
  • 24th April
    2012
  • 24
Post
Saying Goodbye To The Man I Love… Sunday evening I received a phone call from my sister in Atlanta that my father was passing.  My heart immediately hit the floor.  I had just seen him two weeks ago when I flew out to Indianapolis to visit him in the hospital.  Even though his outward appearance seemed fine, I knew in the inside he was in bad condition. Around 1am, my sister called back to tell me that my father had passed away.  I have never felt this feeling before. It was as if someone ran over my body.  I couldn’t think, I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t comprehend. It’s not that I haven’t experienced death before.  I’ve seen my great grandmother and grandmother pass.  I’ve even seen high school friends pass.  But the experience of my father was the most devastating feeling of all. I flew out the next day to Cincinnati to begin the process of planning his memorial and packing up his house.  My sister drove up from Atlanta and assisted myself and my Aunt Joy is making sure everything was in order. I’m glad that I had the opportunity to see my dad a few weeks before he passed.  We watched TV is his hospital room and sometimes we just sat in silence.  I listened to him tell me how much he wanted to see his granddaughter walk down the aisle on day.  I guess he will just have to be there in spirit because God had another plan. On the second day I visited him in the hospital he told me that he believed God was telling him that it was time to come home.  He repeated over and over that he felt like he was seeing people for the last time. This past Tuesday we were looking for a scripture for someone to read at the memorial and my aunt pulls out a crumbled up paper out of her purse.  She said that my father had been writing down scriptures while in the hospital.  My sister opened up the paper and began to cry.  Along with about 4 or 5 scriptures were the words “I want to be free from this sickness”.  And in fact he was.  God had called him home to free him of his pain and suffering. Selfishly, I want my daddy back.  I can’t image life without this man.  Last year I suffered from a deep depression and my father was there for me every step of the way.  He called me everyday.  He came up to Indianapolis every week and brought me some of my favorite Cincinnati food.  He gave me words of encouragement and even attended doctor appointments with me.  He did this all while dealing with his own health issues. I never had to question my father’s love for me.  He showed it every day. I wish I could say that dealing with my father’s death is easy but it is not. My sister and I have been in denial all week.  We told ourselves that we were really planning our father’s retirement party, not his memorial. My father’s memorial was beautiful.  Family and friends shared their love for my father and spoke about his unbelievable desire to make a difference in his community.  People also talked about the crazy practical jokes that he played on folks.  Even the Color Guard gave honor to my father.  I think he would have been proud of what we put together for him. I will miss my dad telling me that I look like the Milkman or that I really hatched from an egg.  I will miss going to the movies with my dad and our long talks over dinner.  Most of all, I will miss his smile. #RIPDADDY

Saying Goodbye To The Man I Love…

Sunday evening I received a phone call from my sister in Atlanta that my father was passing.  My heart immediately hit the floor.  I had just seen him two weeks ago when I flew out to Indianapolis to visit him in the hospital.  Even though his outward appearance seemed fine, I knew in the inside he was in bad condition.

Around 1am, my sister called back to tell me that my father had passed away.  I have never felt this feeling before. It was as if someone ran over my body.  I couldn’t think, I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t comprehend.

It’s not that I haven’t experienced death before.  I’ve seen my great grandmother and grandmother pass.  I’ve even seen high school friends pass.  But the experience of my father was the most devastating feeling of all.

I flew out the next day to Cincinnati to begin the process of planning his memorial and packing up his house.  My sister drove up from Atlanta and assisted myself and my Aunt Joy is making sure everything was in order.

I’m glad that I had the opportunity to see my dad a few weeks before he passed.  We watched TV is his hospital room and sometimes we just sat in silence.  I listened to him tell me how much he wanted to see his granddaughter walk down the aisle on day.  I guess he will just have to be there in spirit because God had another plan.

On the second day I visited him in the hospital he told me that he believed God was telling him that it was time to come home.  He repeated over and over that he felt like he was seeing people for the last time.

This past Tuesday we were looking for a scripture for someone to read at the memorial and my aunt pulls out a crumbled up paper out of her purse.  She said that my father had been writing down scriptures while in the hospital.  My sister opened up the paper and began to cry.  Along with about 4 or 5 scriptures were the words “I want to be free from this sickness”.  And in fact he was.  God had called him home to free him of his pain and suffering.

Selfishly, I want my daddy back.  I can’t image life without this man.  Last year I suffered from a deep depression and my father was there for me every step of the way.  He called me everyday.  He came up to Indianapolis every week and brought me some of my favorite Cincinnati food.  He gave me words of encouragement and even attended doctor appointments with me.  He did this all while dealing with his own health issues.

I never had to question my father’s love for me.  He showed it every day.

I wish I could say that dealing with my father’s death is easy but it is not. My sister and I have been in denial all week.  We told ourselves that we were really planning our father’s retirement party, not his memorial.

My father’s memorial was beautiful.  Family and friends shared their love for my father and spoke about his unbelievable desire to make a difference in his community.  People also talked about the crazy practical jokes that he played on folks.  Even the Color Guard gave honor to my father.  I think he would have been proud of what we put together for him.

I will miss my dad telling me that I look like the Milkman or that I really hatched from an egg.  I will miss going to the movies with my dad and our long talks over dinner.  Most of all, I will miss his smile.

#RIPDADDY

  • 21st April
    2012
  • 21
Post
But the sun will rise…   #ripdaddy #steffskids 

But the sun will rise…  

#ripdaddy #steffskids 

  • 9th April
    2012
  • 09
Post

Nicki Minaj “Beez in the Trap”  #thisismyish